so i'm tired. I was supposed to go to work but my gram ended up in the emegency room. so i called in. I ended up passing out and missing out on the visitor window but I'll try again tomorrow. So skipping two days of work. on a side note it is now a full week since I talked to that person who inspires me. I dont know why she suddenly started to ignore me. it really could be because of that gross joke she made (that really wasn't even the worst thing ever... just kinda icky in the moment) and she just noticed i was gone? though I doubt she ever really notices. I will try fixing up this journal stuff. i want to keep up with this website. I'm still recording but... it's rough, so many things just mess up. I want to make an avatar for it too, but.... ugh idk do i even really need that? All i feel like i can create is letsplay stuff and I dont think people even care about that. I feel like i should uh... idk... I don't even know what to make i dont know why it even matters.