Today was weird. It was one of those days yknow? Work was fine. Nothing too crazy happened though I did have a coworker being annoying and trying to tell me what to do so i literally ignored him for the rest of the day. He kinda freaks out about the littlest of things. After that i dunno I was kinda thinking how I had 4 more days of this. And how I had to go home and do my dishes and cook for the rest of the week. I wanted to record a lil too. On my way home there was road construction like always. and everytime it happens it takes like upwards of 30 minutes to get going and by then the grocery stores are closed. Since it happens so much i know to just go around all the way around. so i got home later than i should but at least i was able to get groceries so i wont starve tomorrow. But yeah.... today was a day where i def felt like it would be better if I just didn't exist. If I was just gone lol. I'm only talking about this so candidly because I know no one is really going to read this. If you know me, you know I dont watch go to the movies or theaters really. So when i have this feeling again. I'm just going to reference it as "i want to go to the movies" you'll see in the video i recorded today. Real nonchalant no one will notice. Well you will from now on. If you're actually reading this. Gram's still in the hospital. My insperational friend still hasn't replied. I really wanted to work on my 3d model again. or anything.... but at least I was able to record. It's already 330am and I really should sleep. I wish i could say more or even have this worded better. But like I said a couple times already I really want to go to the movies . Lol i just know i can't really do that... yknow. I wish i could. But I have family that would be upset. People at work would be completely lost (not really but it would prob fuck with some of them) I have a couple of friends that would notice. I think the main thing is that all my friends that lived here moved away. i'm all alone. and I'm too old to just go out alone now lol. and hell I have zero clue why meeting people online or just trying to have online friends makes me so anxious. blah blah blah. Who cares ammiright. lol. Unless you really read all this whinning and self-loathing than thanks for taking the time. If I really do talk about going to the movies or the theaters I'll throw in an actually . "Guys I want to actually go to the movies." Then I'd mention a movie lol. But that's very very very unlikely. I should go. I wanted to work on the site more but i'm very eepy. Night.